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If you live in the northern half of the United States, WELCOME to winter, where temperatures are made up, your snot freezes in your nostrils, and you endure months of not feeling your face. Never experienced an actual Wisconsin winter? RUN! Don’t come here! 25 degrees with a light snow is beautiful, but we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about when it’s so cold that it’s not safe to be outside for more than 10-15 minutes. School is cancelled because the diesel in the school buses will gel up (get too thick to run) and it’s not safe for those kiddos to be sitting outside waiting to be saved. Fashion really doesn’t come into play when getting dressed on these days. You basically throw on all of the layers so you don’t become a freaking popsicle. Well, I’m declaring it! This doesn’t have to be! Let me teach you about layering in style so you don’t double as a potato. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good potato. In fact, my husband grows about 30 million pounds of them. Yeah, that’s a lot. But I really don’t think that making yourself look like a potato is the best silhouette to emulate. Let me give you a few tips for layering in a stylish, figure flattering manner.
What’s the biggest challenge to layering? Creating a shape! Imagine you’re taking that potato and carving away some of the extra fluff to reveal that va-va-voom bombshell! So, how am I proposing you do this? Belts, knots, some strategic placement. And no, we’re not talking bondage. I’m going to show you my five favorite ways to layer in style.
1. Leggings Under EVERYTHING!
I’m not joking. I put leggings under everything during winter. Those leggings that I HAD to have, but I’m not too fond of anymore? Yup, they go under my maxi’s or Ana’s. If it’s going to be super cold, I’ll double up on the leggings for some extra warmth. And for the days that hell has frozen over and I’m wearing jeans, you bet I probably have a pair of leggings under those jeans. They’ve replaced my long underwear because they’re softer and warmer! And yes, I do have french fry leggings. I’m married to a potato farmer, so it’s a given.
2. Carly and Lynnae Combinations
If you’re in my VIP Shopping Group (Wait. You aren’t? Well hot damn! HERE’S the link to join our shenanigans!), then you know that the Carly and Lynnae combo is one of my favorites. It ranks up there with peanut butter and jelly, Nutella and everything, and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, wine, and drama! I personally have an hourglass/borderline pear shape because homegurl has some junk in the trunk. I struggle with looser garments because they 1. Make me look wider and shorter than I already am and 2. Make me feel like I’m wearing a potato sack. It’s a real boost to the self esteem to feel like you could double as a land whale. So, how do I fight this? I create a waist. If you listened to Stacy London and Clinton Kelly, then you know that creating a waist is as important as making sure you don’t have VPL. Not sure what the hell I just said? Google it. You’re welcome.
There are two ways that I rock my Carly/Lynnae combos. The first way is to put a Lynnae over a Carly and to knot the Lynnae at my waist? Why? I’m drawing the eye to the narrowest part of my torso. Illusion, yo! Make them think you’re that tiny!
What’s my secret to tying a knot? It’s nothing special. I just tie a regular knot, but if I have a tail, I tuck it back under the knot so that it’s not hanging out. Grab the material, pull it forward to make it like a handle, wrap it around itself, and tie that knot! Don’t forget to tuck that tail in, otherwise it looks like you’ve got a penis hanging out by your boobs.
The second way to rock the Carly/Lynnae combo is to put the Lynnae on under the Carly. Hello long-sleeved Carly! But then you’re running into the problem of a loose, tenty Carly. Belt it! Show off that tiny waist you have!
3. Belting a Sarah
Yup, I’ve heard it. The Sarah looks like a bathrobe. I beg to differ on this. It’s all about how you style it! I love to throw a Sarah on over everything. If the style underneath is fitted, I let my Sarah flow in all her glory! But what about a flowy-on-flowy pairing? Belt that bitch! You won’t have as much freedom of totally wrapping yourself in a Sarah, but I really think this is what makes people think of a bathrobe when you’re totally covering your body like a reversed Snuggie. Your Sarah is not a Snuggie! Channel your inner-Erika Jayne and leave it be. She’s never futzing with her clothes!
4. Cropping Your Sarah
Short girls, I know your frustration with the Sarah. “She’s just too long for me!” Girl, I’m 5’4” on a good day. Since I’m short, I’m smart about my fabric choices. There was one Elegant Sarah that I would have sold my husband to afford, but the material was super stretchy. It would be cute in the morning, but my bet is that it would be dragging on the floor by the time it’s mid-afternoon. Womp, womp. I chose fabrics that hold their structure.
So, let’s talk about how to turn your Sarah into a shrug. It’s really easy, I promise. Put your Sarah on normal, not Snuggie-style. Grab the bottom corners, pull them up in front of your body, and tie a small double knot. Why small? Because if you have a huge, honking knot it’s going to be super noticeable. Now take that knotted part and slip it up behind your head. Futz with how your Sarah lays so it’s giving off the look you want. Boom! I promise, it really is that easy. Want to see pictures and a how-to? HERE you go!
5. Wearing a Fitted Piece With Your Sarah
I alluded to this above. I’m a big fan of wearing something that gives me a waist with a Sarah. Throw on a Julia/Ana/Nicole or a shirt with a skirt (Lynnae, Classic, or Gigi with a Lola, Jill, or Lucy) worn normally worn on your natural waist and top with a Sarah. Don’t forget to add some leggings for warmth! Want to know a quick way to find your natural waist? Crunch sideways. You know that spot where it feels like your whole upper half is folding from? Yup, that’s your natural waist! Now reward yourself with some hot chocolate (Bailey’s is totally optional) so you can start warming up again!
Did you love these tips on layering in style? Do you want to bitch about how cold it is? Do you want some styling help so you don’t look like a potato? Come join us in my VIP Group! You must love some snark, being filterless, and having fun. Yeah, I know it’s a ton of work to scroll up to get the link again, so here you GO!